Fresh love is like going to a new country you know nothing about.
But there you are, in the midst of your adventure, excited and a bit shy,
Not quite sure how to be and behave.
You want to fit in but you don’t want to lose yourself.
Ludwig Wittgenstein said that you can not enter any territory for which you do not have a language.
Think of the awkwardness of your first dates.
That’s you learning the language of a new territory.
Your first “I love you” should be slightly shocking, to both parties –
and the risk that it is not said back to you is a risk you have to take.
The difference between a new country and a new lover is that the former comes with a map,
And the latter does not.
You learn your lover’s manual by being with them long enough.
Most people don’t stay around long enough for that.
Relationships are edgy.
You need to master holding the discomfort that comes from the need for simultaneous closeness and independence.
You need to dance with the constant desire to disappear as “one love” and reappear as two whole, independent beings, over and over again.
It’s somewhere in the middle that you both find a new path.
Last weekend I spent four days in a God retreat organized by Celebrating Life Ministries and Foundation for Spiritual Development.
It is in this prayer space that I remember who I am, without my lover.
Next week he is going to spend four days in the wilderness.
This is where he remembers who he is, without his lover.
I have said this before but I’ll say it again:
There are many amazing single women who say they want to find their true love,
but deep inside they don’t.
They know their life has to change.
Did you know that the same part of the brain that deals with change also deals with pain?
It hurts like hell to reveal your darkness when you think you are only made out of light.
It hurts like hell to admit you need another when you have been a one-woman show all your life.
It hurts like hell to wake up next to someone who sees all the lies you are telling yourself,
and who still loves you anyway.
To hold both – our limited humanness and our limitless godliness – is the real work.
You don’t need to be in a relationship to practice this.
Life gives you plenty of opportunities if you pay attention.
Relationship Feng Shui is a platform to explore your connection to The Human (yourself and others), to The Earth (your home) and to The Heavens (your Spirit).
The quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationship with those three.
Love,
